August 04, 2012

"Be prepared to be weepy for a while"

I was looking forward to my therapy session....I want to deal with whatever is causing postpartum depression so that I can move on with my life!

So on the fluffy brown couch I sit-it's overstuffed and my feet can't touch the floor- "Are you comfortable?" my therapist asks-without waiting for an answer she adds "You're so petite!".
Uh-what?

I giggle and think to myself "petite,yeah....what part of me-not around obvisously-she must mean five-foot,five inches is short"

We start talking about my week-and I go into details about how up until the previous day I had been feeling much better.

"My husband and I had a fight.....about spaghetti"


I sense her extreme curiosity and elaborate "I didn't want it to go to waste and he didn't want to eat it,so he said it was stupid to make so much because nobody eats it"
By this time I was balling (because that's what I do nowadays)

She asked what happened next.
"I went to my room and spent the next 4 hours crying because my husband doesn't know how to comfort me!!"

It's true.



But to be a little fair,I'm not the same 'girl' I was two years ago.
I used to be tough and capable of sticking up for myself.
Now my lip trembles and tears fill my eyes at the mere mention of my doing something less than perfectly.

We talked about how men sometimes get 'weird' when their woman is weepy-and how he might be dealing with his own emotions-and many men lash out or say insensitive things when they are stressed or depressed.

"It's not just about the spaghetti!" she said laughing.
We talked about trying to use "I feel" while talking instead of "You do this/You don't do that".

I told her "I didn't even want to eat the spaghetti because I'm watching my carbs-but I didn't want to throw it out!"

"WHOA,I don't want you cutting carbs right now"

HUH? Are you kidding me right now?

"When people are depressed,carbs are what helps them get by-so no cutting them just yet" she ordered.

"I just really want to lose some of this weight...I'm tired of it" I pleaded.

"You need to give yourself more time-you have a lot to deal with" she gently responded.

Great....

As if that wasn't enough she added "And I like to warn people that it can get worse before it gets better-be prepared to be weepy for a while longer"

Oh,that's just terrific!
I just love having the tears falling for no apparent reason and not being able to control them.
OK,so all the boo-hooing out of the way.....

She went over some relaxation exercises to help block/reduce cortisol (stress hormone) production.

The first one was a breathing exercise much like what I instinctively use during childbirth.
Closing your eyes can be helpful.
You take a deep breath for the count of five seconds breathing in 1-2-3-4-5.
Then you breathe out for five seconds and imagine your belly button being pulled into your back.
The point is to help rid of all the air-and out 1-2-3-4-5.
You do this for a couple of minutes.

The next one she showed me was flex and relax.
You start with your feet,then your calves,then your thighs,buttocks,abs,chest,hands,arms,back and neck.
You flex/tighten the muscle for five seconds and then relax them slowly,concentrating on the hold and release.

She explained that in the special-ops they use this training for reducing stress while in combat for weeks at a time.

"Try to have an evening routine"


Her suggestions
Take a nice bubble bath-you can even do your relaxation exercises in the tub.
Use lavender candles,lavender bath salts-they can be calming.
I actually do have a lavender scented candle on a candle warmer in my bedroom.



I'm not much of a bubble bath person.....only when I'm pregnant-which I'm not.
But I suppose I could at least 'try' to take a bath sometime.


I'm actually excited to go for my session on Tuesday....even if I do ball my eyes out.

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