And then the ice cube fell on the floor....

It's been a rough day.
I've had a battle going on in my brain since 6am.

Why should I pretend to be happy all the time....I just can't force myself to tell everyone that I am 'blessed' to have a child with autism....blessed to have my child,yes!
But lately,I feel like the walls are closing in again.

Some parents of children with autism might be able to blog about how autism brought them together,or how the new therapies are working well.
Maybe they're in denial that autism affects their family......

I feel like I'm alone.
I feel like day in and day out this is my life.....I want to cry.I want to scream.
I want to get rid of the knot in my stomach.

I am tired of the traumatic moments in my day.
I shudder thinking about him screaming at me.......
I see him influencing his younger brothers behavior.
What can I do to make it STOP.

I wouldn't be human if I said our life is perfect with autism.
I have searched for help for nearly 6 years!
I have had more than 13 different prescriptions placed in my hands.
2 different psychiatrists.
3 social workers.
Upwards of nine 'potential' diagnosis' everything from ADHD to bipolar disorder.

And yet NOBODY will say it.
Nobody will help me.

Because he's high functioning,it just appears that it's ME.
AND I AM TIRED OF THAT.......I am SOooo tired.

It's wearing on me.
My days are blending into the same fight everyday to keep it together.
Today was one of those days...I felt weak.I felt sad.
One thing after another......

And then the ice cube fell on the floor.

That's The Most Ginormous Diaper Bag EVER!

My Diaper Bag had HAD it.

So much for Jeep slogans:


                                      
                                                 
  "The Sun Never Sets On The Mighty Jeep"
                                                 
  "The toughest 4 letter word on wheels"

ok,they can have that last one since it's not on wheels......

 
My Jeep brand diaper bag was falling apart inside and out-and I suppose I'm really lucky it lasted as long as it did for being a $30 bag from Walmart.

Unfortunately,not only did they not carry this bag anymore,it wouldn't have mattered because I wasn't really happy with it.
It wasn't roomy enough-even though it was large in comparison to most diaper bags-for my needs.
I needed something large and spacious for cloth diapering-especially having three children in cloth diapers!
It also had ZERO pockets on the inside of the bag....This might not matter to some moms,but I am a really organized person and I like having things at least somewhat in their place.
I was stumped when I started shopping for a new bag...like astonished at how there were NO diaper bags large enough to suit our needs!
I shopped at nearly every store in town,many online stores and found nothing.

Some moms in the cloth diapering community suggested the Ju Ju Be Be Prepared diaper bag....I was a bit skeptical on the price-okay a LOT skeptical.
But then I considered all the reviews,the fact it does have a warranty,the fact that I will be using a diaper bag for at least the next 6-7 years (given that we have another baby).
I also considered how many diaper bags I have purchased in the last 8 years since having my first baby...I've gone through 7 bags!

After watching review videos and talking to hubby,I made the leap.
I am now the oh-so-proud owner of the Ju Ju Be Be-Prepared diaper bag.
It was an investment-I mean some people spend that much money just going out to dinner every month or so.
Considering the warranty,I can't call it a bad decision for me......but that's me!

'Evening Vines' print

A little sparkle on each zipper

It's a very big bag!

  *See my YouTube Channel for videos and MORE!*

What's in my closet?

Welcome to our Family Closet

Off to the left are my things hanging and the dresser underneath
is the two little boys pajamas,socks and summer clothes.
You can also see my laundry area through the doorway.

The wall on straight ahead: on the left is my 7 yr olds clothes,
his shirts are hanging along with some nice pants and hoodies.
Underneath in the dresser are his and Jeremiahs pjs,socks,undies
and of course summer clothes!
Also,hubby's jeans,work uniforms and nice shirts are hanging
in the middle,and under his clothes are the three little boys
hanging shirts and hoodies.their pants are folded above their shirts.

There is an additional hanging bar above the two tall dressers,
it's not being used for much currently.
The two dressers are mine and hubby's 'other' clothes and misc.
On the far right is the 'misc' and coat hanging area.I store the
extra coats and jackets there and on the shelf above I have
extra diaper bags and totes with winter wear (gloves/hats etc).

Another view
We used the Rubbermaid closet kits...but I recommend buying the
parts you actually need in separate pieces...we ended up with a
lot of stuff we can't use in this area or don't need.

And my laundry area!
I have a different washer now than in this picture...
I love having lots of baskets!
I keep extra hangers in the bar next to the cabinets and I have
a useful folding table!

Thanks for stopping by!